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9 Challenges of Stay-at-Home Moms and How to Deal With Them

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Life of a stay-at-home mom is not a walk in the park. Some people think that being a stay-at-home mom is a perk because you are just at home and you have all the time in the world. What they know is just the tip of the iceberg.

There are challenges of being a stay-at-home mom. Every mom should know how to deal with them in order to keep their sanity.

You may not experience all in this list, but these happen for real. So before you resign from your job and decide to become a SAHM, read on.

Challenges of Stay-at-Home Moms

1. Messy House

This is especially true for those with babies and toddlers.

You will get tired from picking each and every toy that’s lying in every corner and room of the house. The wall has childish graffiti that your toddler has enjoyed doing while you are doing the laundry. Baby food is scattered on your little one’s high chair or even on the floor, while you push your other kid to eat his/her veggies.

How to deal with it:

While your kids are still very young, this is the best time to instill discipline.

A child’s formative years are from 0 to 6 years old. This is when their behavior is formed.

So if you start some simple discipline such as tidying up after playing, then they will learn to be responsible and disciplined as they grow up.

But if you will keep on doing everything for them, you are clearly not teaching them. They will just rely on you to do even simple things for them and this will cause you to be exhausted.

As for those who are like obsessive-compulsive, keeping a very neat and organized house is almost impossible unless your kids are all grown up and can pitch into the chores. But if you don’t have a helper, that’s ok.

Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t keep a tidy house. Don’t get angry at your baby if he/she has food all over his/her face or if your toddler drew on the wall. Kids have no concept yet of what’s right and wrong.

Next time you give crayons to your kid, make sure he/she is within your eyesight so you can immediately tell him/her that it’s not ok to write on the wall if he/she is attempting to.

2. Exhaustion

If you have an infant, you probably have dark circles on your eyes. This is a challenge of stay-at-home moms even before they the decide to be SAHM.

For moms with toddlers, tidying up your kid’s mess and keeping the house clean would be one your regular routine. If you try to do this every day, you will really feel exhausted.

If you have children who already go to school, you have to get up early and prepare their meal for breakfast and for school.

How to deal with it:

Ask your husband to watch your baby while you get some sleep. You can also ask help from your mom or your mother-in-law or your sister-in-law while your baby’s sleep pattern is still erratic.

Whenever there is a chance, grab that opportunity to take a nap. Even just a 15-minute nap can recharge your mind. You want to feel better when you take care of your baby.

3. Whiny Children

This one is I think the toughest part of parenthood. It’s a challenge for stay-at-home moms because they get to deal with their kids’ tantrums daily without any help.

When toddlers cannot articulate want they want or need, they start to cry because they get frustrated when their parents or caregivers cannot give what they want because they cannot understand their kid.

Though kids are adorable, they can also be very difficult to deal with especially toddlers who are in their school age.

You no longer have control of what your tots are hearing and seeing when they’re already outside your care. They already imitate their peer’s bad behavior. They utter words that you are very careful not to say in your household.

How to deal with it:

Know your child’s body language. You should know when they are feeling hungry, sleepy or just needs your cuddle so that whining is at bay.

Try to understand that kids have a limited vocabulary that is why they cannot express themselves well. Talk to them always and play with them so that they will be able to learn new words.

When they are starting to go to school, tell your child to be friends with nice kids only. This way, it will be less likely that they will pick up negative behavior from their friends.

4. Financial Dependency on Husband

Let’s face it, you will really have no other choice but to be financially dependent on your spouse’s salary because you are no longer working.

Unless you are married to a millionaire then you are lucky. Otherwise, your every want will be put aside because you will always be thinking of your kids first and your house bills.

What used to be an independent working mom has to rely completely on her husband. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and ask for some money to buy something for yourself even just lipstick or a new pair of jeans.

How to deal with it:

If your husband is generous and understands that you also have your own needs, then good for you. But if not, or if you always have a tight budget, then there are a number of different online jobs that you can apply for.

You can also start an online business at a very minimal cost like dropshipping, affiliate marketing or create your own digital product and sell it. The latter is the best because you get the whole profit.

5. Unglamourous

Gone are the days when you’re clad in corporate attire, a nice pair of shoes, your favorite brand of bag and you look really good in makeup with your hair done like a celebrity.

Now that you’re a stay-at-home mom, your hair is all messed up. You either wear a pair of jeans or pajamas and goodbye to stilettos and hello to sneakers. In short, you look haggard.

How to deal with it:

It’s ok to look simple. Remember simplicity is elegance. But unglamorous is not the same as simple. Being unglamorous diminishes your self-confidence.

Just because you stay at home most of the time does not mean that you won’t take care of yourself anymore. Try to look good not just for your husband but for yourself so that you will feel good on the inside. Find healthy ways to relieve your stress.

When you go out, even just going to the grocery store, try to look your best simple attire because you will never know who you will bump into, perhaps your very critical mother-in-law or your former boss at work. You wouldn’t want to look haggard when they see you, would you?

6. Unfinished Chores

Dirty laundry, dirty dishes, toys all over the floor, unkempt bed and other chores that are waiting for you to finish.

While you lie on her bed, you’re thinking of the bills that you have to pay and that you have to run to the store and get some supplies and the list goes on.

This is a challenge of stay-at-home moms that hones their multitasking skill.

How to deal with it:

First, breathe.

Every mom has an unfinished chore. Learn to prioritize things.

In this case, the bills should go first because you’ll just give yourself a big problem if bills are overdue. The dishes, laundry, toys, and bed can wait.

You are not a superhero who can finish everything at once.

Finishing a lot of things does not equate to being effective. Think again if what you are doing is in line with what you want to accomplish. Read this article to know how to manage yourself so you can manage your time well.

7. Lack of social life

Staying at home is enjoyable and relaxing at first. But as weeks turn to months, you will start to miss your friends at work. The glamour of having to dress up for work, the parties sponsored by the company, and of course the paycheck will be missed.

Your circle of friends will not grow anymore because you are just confined in your house busy with your kids, chores, and errands.

How to deal with it:

You can meet friends or acquaintances at the park when you stroll with your kid.

If your kids are already going to school, you can make friends also with other parents. It’s also good to get to know the parents of your kid’s classmates. In this way, you will have contact with someone if you have questions with regard to school fairs and activities other than your kid’s teacher.

Getting to know other parents especially moms will give the both of you the opportunity to exchange thoughts about motherhood. It is also important for stay-at-home moms to have like-minded people to talk to and share the same experiences.

8. Misjudgement

This is another challenge of stay-at-home moms which you have no control of.

There are always critical people who do not regard stay-at-home parents as the most important “job” in the world. These people can be your neighbor, your friends, your in-laws, or sometimes even your own parents.

They think that you are “just at home” doing nothing that’s why your house is a mess. They see you as jobless and totally dependent on your husband, instead of them seeing that you are taking care of your family most especially your children.

How to deal with it:

Ignore them. They don’t know what is really happening inside your house and they have no idea that being a stay-at-home mom is not easy.

No one has the right to look down on you.

Believe in yourself.

Focus on how you can improve yourself as a mom, as a wife, and as a person. Focus on your family and not on what others say or think about you.

9. Passive husband

You heard your baby crying but you are bathing your 3-year-old kid while your husband is just watching tv or probably playing a video game.

He does not or very seldom contributes to doing some household chores.

You cannot leave your kids with him for an hour because he doesn’t want to change your baby’s diaper. He cannot stand their whining.

Your patience here will truly be tested.

How to deal with it:

You can never change the attitude of your husband no matter how much you explain to him that parenting is a joint effort.

Yes, he will hear you and perhaps try to make a little effort to take care of the kids or help you in some of the household chores. But this could only be temporary because he will slack off once again.

What you can do is to delegate tasks. Tell him to take out the trash and wash the dishes at home so that you can tuck your kids early in bed. He would never take the initiative to do those kinds of stuff and he can even make an alibi if he “forgets” so in this case, you need to impose.

You can also tell him that he should not expect to do all the things for him. Because all your efforts have been consumed by the kids and keeping the house organized, you don’t have enough time and energy to fix him a meal. It’s either he watches the kids while you prepare the meal or the other way around. He should choose.

Don’t try to change him because it would only seem futile.

Don’t expect him to have an initiative.

And don’t expect that he would understand you and comfort you when you’re tired. Delegate or impose some tasks on him because that is the only way for him to move his butt.

Conclusion

I don’t want to scare you with all these challenges of motherhood. Being a stay-at-home mom is not as easy as others think it is especially if you have a newborn baby or a toddler.


You will suck in some areas, you will get dirty.


You will get really mad, you will get exhausted.


And you will want to cry.


It will bring out not just the best in you but also the worst in you.


But you have to accept all of these challenges of being a stay-at-home mom and just apply the simple hacks and you will do just fine.

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