Are you one of those moms who are wanting “me time” for so long, but feels guilty of what other people might say? Or you feel bad of having time for yourself because you still have tons of errands to do?
You see, whether you’re a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, we all need time for ourselves occasionally, because being a mom alone is very exhausting.
Having time for yourself is very important, why? Because time for ourselves has a big contribution to us moms, we can be so stressed out with things, whether it’s work, or the exhaustion from doing all household chores.
“Me time” is a form of destressing for us, a time to reward ourselves a bit and to have a little peacefulness once in a while.
As moms, sometimes you need a little time for yourself to get a manicure, or to get your hair done, or to shop for new clothes, or even just to lay on the couch and read your favorite book. There should be time allotted for yourself at least once a week, or once every two weeks.
Stress can affect your personality, your appearance, and how you handle motherhood and you’re not only having “Me time” for your own sake, but also for your spouse and for your children.
It won’t be too appealing if your husband sees you withering away from too much work and stress that has built up over time.
In my opinion, I feel that us moms have not only one type of guilt when we want time for ourselves, but three. Let’s discuss these guilts and see which one is stopping you from having “Me time”.
guilt of missing
This is the type of guilt that you feel when you want some time for yourself but then we remember your children and worry that you’ll be having fun without them, and you suddenly change your mind and just say “Never mind, I’ll just stay here and cuddle with my kids”.
Sometimes this is okay, but most of the time it will just lead to you to finding more things to do at home, and next thing you know you spent the entire day cleaning instead of winding down.
guilt of work
This mostly applies for stay-at-home moms, since your home all day running around everywhere to get things done. Not only cleaning the house and cooking but also taking care of your little ones, which often hold you back from having a peaceful moment to yourself.
Sometimes it doesn’t even cross your mind till you’re very stressed out.
You constantly worry that you don’t have the time to have a little fun because there’s laundry that needs to be folded, or errands that need to be finished. Your list just never ends.
So when you try to find work, you somehow feel guilty knowing that you have to leave your kids behind so you can also help the family make a living.
Maybe that’s why work from home or online jobs are created so that parents can earn a living without compromising so much time away from their kids.
guilt of misjudgment
For me, this is the worst.
This hits hard specially for young moms and single moms.
There are always people around you who think they are “The Perfect Parent” or even “The Parent Police”.
These people watch your every move, criticize the things you do, so whenever you want to have “Me Time” the thought itself comes to a halt because you’re already thinking about what the “Perfect people” around you are going to say.
So which is your reason from postponing that sought-after “me time”? Whatever it is, push it aside.
Time for yourself isn’t a guilty pleasure, it’s a necessity. You deserve it 100% and you need it as much as anybody else.
To start having a relaxing time, first you need to let go of these guilt feelings.
You shouldn’t be feeling that in the first place. You’re also human as those single people who claim they need time for themselves all the time.
Most moms say they don’t have time. Well there really is no right time for your needs and wants. It’s just a matter of how you manage yourself and your emotions.
So, for moms who feel guilty, please don’t. Consider “Me time” as a reward for all the hard work that you do for your family.
In fact, time for yourself is very important to keep insanity at bay.
Now, how do you squeeze in some “me time” in your busy mommy schedule?
Here are my tips:
- Fix your schedule a week ahead to make room for pamper-yourself-day.
I prefer to do this on a school day, get up a bit earlier than you used to, don’t fill your schedule with tons of work on that day, just enough to get the kids ready and off to school and to clean the house a bit.
Then while they’re at school go and pamper yourself away!
Make sure you have enough time to also pick them up (If you do that) or before they get home.
2. Another option is on the weekends. Make plans, have your hubby take the kids out while you do your thing.
I mean it’s only fair, because we all know hubby also has his “boy’s night” sometimes. Both of you must talk about it and compromise to keep the relationship healthy too.
For me, as long as I get food on the table in time, my children are wearing clean clothes and the house is (at least clean once in a while), it’s good enough for me.
Remember moms, you don’t need to try and do everything at once, always leave some time for yourself.
3. Bond with your (mom) friends
I know this post is about “me” time or alone time, but this could count because family is not included in this bonding time.
Having people who have the same experience as you gives you a little comfort knowing that somebody understands what you’re going through.
It’s also a big stress reliever when you try to laugh everything out all the mess at you house, or even how much messed up you feel you are in being a mom.
You can also have salon bonding with your girl friends. Get a nice hair rebond, or hair cut, or manicure and pedicure.
My friends sometimes do this kind of bonding. We also sometimes have a nice whole body massage. This is not only soothes my body aches but also calms my mind.
I hope moms would understand that you don’t need to feel guilty for wanting alone time once in a while. It’s a need, it’s a must and it’s well deserved.
Everybody needs it, even Dad’s and single people need it!
Don’t mind what other may think because you need it and you owe it to yourself for being an awesome mom to your kids.
So for the moms out there who haven’t had “me time” in a while, go ahead and fix your schedule right now and book that long awaited massage.