6 Toxic Personalities You Should Avoid

Having a dream means you have a vision of what you want to have in the future. It’s a precursor to having a goal in life because you want to reach your dreams. It’s what propels you to level yourself up to become successful in achieving your goals and your dreams. These goals can be in terms of finances, relationships, or personal development. But in the pursuit of any of these, there are things you that you should do and should not do.

One of the things that you should do is to avoid these toxic personalities that can hamper your travel to success.

What is a toxic personality?

A toxic person is someone who is unsupportive, abusive, emotionally unhealthy. They put you down instead of up. These are people who contribute to failure and not in the achievement of your goals, so they should be avoided.

One way to tell if a person is toxic to your life is when every time you hang out with them, you feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative.

As I live my life and as I read more books and listen to motivational videos, here are the toxic personalities that I learned to avoid or at least limit my association with them.

6 Toxic Personalities to Avoid

This toxic personality can diminish your self-worth. You might feel guilty about something that you’re not responsible for. Try to stay away from these people.

If you can’t avoid them, then do this:

  • Keep in mind that you are not responsible for other people’s mistakes. We are only responsible for our actions.
  • Respond positively such as “Is there anything I can do?” Chances are, this response will shift their mood and tell you, “No, that’s okay. I can handle it.” Then it’s time you change the subject.

Toxic Personalities To Avoid

1. Complainer

The world is not perfect and so there will always be things that people can complain about. People complain way too much about things that they have no control of and it’s a total waste of energy. Here are the most common things that people complain about.

  • Job
  • Mondays
  • Traffic
  • Weather
  • Slow internet connection
  • Lengthy Waits on Queues

You cannot control these things but you can do something about it. Work your way around it. Leave the house early or if you can, try a different route to avoid traffic. Line up early in queues so you’ll be the first to be served. Utilize online transactions to save you a lot of time. If not, use that time for learning by bringing a book or listening to podcasts.

You might agree with the person who complains a lot if they are your constant companions. Before you know it, you’re already a complainer just like them wasting energy on things that you cannot change or control instead of doing something about it.

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If you can’t avoid them, then do this:

  • Change the subject on things that the person is grateful for. Maybe he or she was able to feed her kid veggies. He or she probably tried a new recipe that the family enjoyed over dinner. Pique his or her interest to change his or her mood and then you’ll both enjoy the conversation.

2. Blamer

These types of people not only complain but they also try to blame something or someone for their mistakes or for anything that happens to them. If they’re late in a meeting, they blame the traffic or their car. For lacking in education, some people blame their parents. If they can’t find a job, they blame the government.

It’s easier to blame other people or life’s circumstances to get away with being irresponsible. This attitude shows immaturity and lacks accountability.

You are responsible for anything that happens in your life.

It is what you do with what happens to you. The result is only how you respond to it so don’t blame others when you screw up.

Blaming others is excusing yourself.

This toxic personality can diminish your self-worth. You might feel guilty about something that you’re not responsible for. Try to stay away from these people.

If you can’t avoid them, then do this:

  • Keep in mind that you are not responsible for other people’s mistakes. We are only responsible for our actions.
  • Respond positively such as “Is there anything I can do?” Chances are, this response will shift their mood and tell you, “No, that’s okay. I can handle it.” Then it’s time you change the subject.

3. Lazy Person

Procrastination can lead to being lazy. Putting things off for tomorrow what you can do today will only pile up the tasks. These kinds of people will always have reasons not to do certain things. They have plenty of alibis and excuses. Why? It’s because they are simply lazy.

Getting lazy sometimes is fine. Like when you’re exhausted from the entire day of caring for your baby, or when you have just finished general cleaning of your house.

Resting for a day is necessary. But don’t rest too long because as the renowned author and motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “Make rest a necessity, not an objective because the objective of life is not to rest but to work.” Even God worked for six days to build the world, but rested for only one day, right?

So if you’re in pursuit of your goal, don’t associate yourself with these kinds of people who rest more than work. Keep yourself busy working on your goals one step at a time. Even just small steps can lead you towards your desired destination.

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If you can’t avoid them, then do these: 

  • Think of your responsibilities and your goals to motivate you. Keep in mind that it’s you who will also suffer if you delay what needs to be done and you have no one to depend on but yourself.
  • Your WHYs should be big enough. Why do you want to work? Why do you want to have your own house? Why do you want to have a retirement plan? Your big WHYs will get you moving and will push you.

4. Pessimist

A lot of people can be pessimistic towards anything. But being a pessimist isn’t all that bad up to a certain level. These people often say “It could have been…”, “I should have…”  They often see what went wrong – the glass half-empty. These people only see the worse thing that can happen. The only benefit of having people like them is they see what needs to be improved.

But too much pessimism won’t improve your happiness and satisfaction because for them, there is always something missing. Even if you’re a positive person and you trust that what you’re doing is right, but when there is someone who sees the negative, sometimes you can’t help but doubt your idea.

If you can’t avoid them, then try these:

  • Have countermeasures on the challenges or problems that may arise as you carry out your plan.
  • You can also try to change the subject and ask about what’s going on in his or her life.

5. Over-Critical

Nothing is ever good enough for over-critical people. They often find faults and try to give unsolicited advice and solutions to non-existent problems.

Some perfectionists tend to be over-critical of any simple flaws such as misspelled words, skewed books on the shelves, or a bland dish. This is could be very toxic companions because they make you feel incompetent or stupid. Try to stay away from these people or you might lose your confidence in yourself.

If you can’t avoid them, do these:

  • Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s them. (smile inserted here)
  • Assess the comments. Take it constructively. Try to consider it if there is some truth to his or her words. It would probably be helpful for you.
  • Ignore it.

Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good.

There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha.

When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly; he insulted him; he challenged him; he did everything he could to offend Buddha.

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Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?”

The man responded, “Well, what?”

Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”

The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it.”

Buddha smiled, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse, does it not then still belong to you?”

The man was speechless and walked away.

6. Gossipmonger

There are several reasons why people gossip.

They gossip to feel superior, out of boredom, out of envy, to feel like part of a group, for attention, out of anger or unhappiness. It’s not wrong to talk about other people.

Biography books are stories about people and their nuances. But these are based on facts and not one-sided stories judged by a single person and they do not mean any harm.

But talking about other people to disparage them, ruin their reputation or spread rumors is an absolute no. For me, this is also a waste of time and energy.

Talking about other insignificant people would not help you a bit to improve your quality of life. Besides, you also wouldn’t want other people talking about you behind your back, would you?

If you can’t avoid them, do these:

  • Try to respond like this, “Let’s take a look at it from (insert name here) side.” This response is being objective by looking at the other person’s perspective and not jumping into conclusions.
  • Change the topic to a positive note.


There would always be roadblocks that can hinder you in achieving or accomplishing what you want. These can be yourself, your situation, your environment, and other people.

In going through life, having a connection with other people is very important. They help you in every way such as in achieving your dreams. But there can also be people who do not contribute to your well-being.

If you mingle with these toxic personalities, it’s either it affects your mental health or you become like them.

If you want to become a better person, and if you want to achieve something, try to avoid these toxic personalities, and surround yourself with the right kinds of people who will lift you, support you, and would bring out the best in you. Because it’s easier to achieve anything you want if you’re surrounded by people who will motivate you and inspire you.

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